Photo Credit birth marriage and death image by Warren Millar from Fotolia.com

There are many reasons to start the search for your birth family if you are adopted. You may want to know your medical history to weigh your risk of hereditary disease, you may want to make contact with long lost siblings or family or you may simply be curious. In any event, the search for your birth family can take time, especially if your birth records were sealed. Start your search with the mind of an investigative reporter, and you're likely to turn up some good leads.

Gather Information

Step 1

Talk to your parents and other living family members. Explain to them that you want to begin the search for your birth family. You might want to assure them that this is not a reflection of your relationship with them, but that you are curious about your birth family. Be honest and patient with them. Ask them if they can recall any information at all: names, places, etc. Write down any information, no matter how vague the details. Find out the date of your adoption and how old you were.

Step 2

Obtain a copy of your birth certificate. If you need a copy of your birth certificate, most states have Internet online document ordering systems, for a small fee. If the adoption was open, your birth parents' names might be listed on the birth certificate.

Step 3

Obtain your adoption records if you can. You should know the name of the agency that handled the adoption. If you don't have any information, contact the department of records and vital statistics in the city where you were born and see what their policy on adoption records is. Some cities have an open policy where they will release all information. Some cities may only release medical information, and some cities will not release anything at all.

Research

Step 1

Register with as many free adoption search sites as you can find. Sites like adoption.com and adopteeconnect.com have databases where you can register your birth date, place and sex to see if there is a match with someone who is searching for a child or sibling with the same birth information. The problem with these is that your birth family has to be looking for you at the same time in the same place.

Step 2

Contact your state's and city's department of vital records and find out their laws on adoptee information. Laws vary state by state and city by city, but even if your city is a "sealed records" city, they might have an adoptee database for you to search or enter your information into.

Step 3

If you have your birth parents names or even part of a name, do an Internet search on their name and their last known whereabouts. Even though it may have been decades ago, most people don't move far from their birth cities, so they might still be in their last known city. Write down every hit, including different first names. If you can get phone numbers, write them down.

Step 4

Search geneology sites like ancestry.com. You might come up with death records, birth records of possible siblings and marriage records. Write down every name and every lead, no matter how vague.

Step 5

Search social networking sites for possible relatives. These sites are great because you might be able to pair names with pictures to see family resemblances. Keep in mind that though your birth parents might not be on social networking sites, younger siblings and cousins might be.

Make Contact

Step 1

Attempt to contact every person you've found either by phone, email or letter. Try to make the message as short and to the point as possible. State who you are, that you were adopted and that you think it may be possible that the two of you are related. Tell them how you think you're related. State that you are simply curious and that you want nothing from them other than information. Leave several ways in which they can contact you.

Step 2

Give the people you contact some time to adjust to this information. If you contact them by phone, leave them a phone number where you can be reached. You might get someone hanging up on you. You might have someone who cannot talk at the moment but who might call you back at a later time. You might never get a call back.

Step 3

If you have contacted every person on your list and have gotten no replies or only dead ends, you may either have the wrong family or they don't want to contact you. You can try one more time, but do not harass or pester these people; respect their privacy if they do not want to talk to you or provide information.

Step 4

If you choose to meet, meet in a public place and bring pictures and mementos of your life. Keep an open mind about the meeting and don't expect too much. Respect the other person's wish for privacy, if she wants it. Remember that you contacted her and that she has made a life without you.

Tips and Warnings

    If you have the resources, you may want to consider hiring a private detective to help your search. There are also companies on the Internet that do name traces and adoption searches.

Things You'll Need

•     Computer
•     Library
•     Birth certificate
•     Adoption records

References

•     Adopteeconnect
•     Adoption
•     Ancestry.com

By Laine Doss

Source: livestrong.com