Family reunited ... Mark and Fabia

FORTY-THREE years ago, teenage mum Fabia Barr sobbed on her doorstep as she gave her six-month-old son Mark Appleson up for adoption.

Just 18 years old, skint and already mum to Simon, one, struggling Fabia was persuaded to make the heartbreaking decision to give her baby up. In a gut-wrenching twist, a year later she BEGGED to have her baby back — but social services told her it was too late.

For the next 40 years she searched for Mark.


Blond ambition ... Mark stands out against his adopted family

For Mark, it was the start of a lifetime growing up without his natural mum, the only blue-eyed, blond-haired child in an adopted family of two brothers and two sisters.

Mark, 44, who is a rugby teacher at Edinburgh Academy, lives with his wife Belinda, 44, and children Ben, 13, Charlotte, 12, and Emily, three.

And fearing rejection for a second time, he only started looking for his mum after the arrival of his own first born.

Now the pair have finally been reunited thanks to detective work from TV’s Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell for new ITV show Long Lost Families.


Presenters ... Davina McCall and Nicky Campbell

Incredibly, Mark and Fabia — who has since had two more sons, Richard and James — came close to being reunited by accident in France after Mark and his kids hired a canal boat — unaware they were floating past Fabia’s GARDEN.

Now with a lifetime to catch up on, Mark and Fabia, 62, share their extraordinary stories.

Mark's story

MY biggest fear was always, having been rejected once as a baby, the last thing I wanted was to be rejected again.

There’s no guarantee even if you find your birth mum that she’ll want anything to do with you.

The day Davina McCall knocked on my door to tell me I didn’t need to worry anymore was emotional.

She said, ‘We’ve found your mum and she’s been looking for you for 43 years’. It was overwhelming.

I was adopted as a baby by Barry and Pat Appleson and grew up the youngest in a large, happy family.

One of my earliest memories was a bedtime ritual when mum would sit me on her knee and I’d say, ‘Tell me that story again’.


Mark up ... with Belinda and Emily

She’d explain how she picked me out, that she had selected me as I’d been special.

She’d retell that story of bringing me home and how the kids were all really excited.

From as early as I can remember I’ve known that I was adopted.

I was physically so different to my brothers and sisters.

On family days at the beach there would be quips like, ‘What a lovely family but where did Mark come from? Was he the milkman’s?’

That makes you feel isolated.

I knew I’d been called Mark right from the start and I’d lived with my mum in Islington, London, before becoming a Barnardos child.

Then 15 years ago I finally asked for my adoption file and the detail was amazing.

I learnt my mum’s name, Fabia White. The file described her as ‘a quiet, thoughtful girl, not at all the dashing type. She does not wear make-up, has rather a sad expression, is 5ft 4in tall with short brown hair, brown eyes and a pale complexion’.

She was 16 when she’d had her first son Simon, then 18 months later I was born.

Why was it only me that she’d given up?

I put my name on every single adoption register but there was no record of a Fabia White.

It felt like I kept hitting a brick wall until my wife suggested I give it one last shot and I applied for Long Lost Families.

Each time I told the programme makers my story it felt like a layer of resistance was being peeled back.

I handed over everything, my entire file that I’d built up over

a lifetime to the producers last October knowing they were talking to lots of families and there was no guarantee they’d take my story further.

They took over and I was told nothing. Unknown to me, Nicky Campbell flew out to France to meet Fabia, bringing with him a photo of me and a letter that I’d been asked by the production crew to write to give to my mum if they ever found her.

A few days before Christmas, I thought Davina was just coming to do more filming, to find out about my story.

Even the cameraman, the producers and the director were in tears when, over a cup of tea, Davina explained they’d found my mum.

She handed me a photo and a letter from Fabia too.

The letter started, ‘Dear Mark, I have to say it was a shock when I first heard that you’d been looking for me.

‘So many emotions went through me but the strongest was joy. Joy is not even a word that could truly describe the full depth of emotion that I was feeling. I often think about you, especially on your birthday wondering what you’re doing wondering if you’re happy, wondering if life has been good to you.

‘Thank you so much for the best Christmas present ever, the chance to get to know you.’

I chose the Botanic Gardens in Edinburgh to meet Fabia on January 12 this year. I arrived first and after saying goodbye to Davina slowly walked up to a room near the Gardens’ restaurant.

I was in a state by the time Fabia appeared at the door. She walked in and we both started crying. She was crumpling, literally.

We had this long cuddle for about five minutes.

We sobbed and sobbed. We then sat down and just talked for what seemed like forever.

It was very easy to talk. There were no awkward silences. She had this horrendous guilt.

My adoptive mum brought me up and will always be my MUM.

When I told her I’d found Fabia she was so supportive.

Now it’s about what we do for the rest of our lives.

We went out for dinner in Leith that night. That’s when I discovered a few years ago I’d sailed past her house in France.

We’ll never miss each other like that again. We’re in touch by phone, email and I’m going out to see her very soon.

It was almost like regressing back to being a child. You get that first hug from your mum and it is amazing.”

Fabia's story

I WAS planning on getting married to Mark’s father then I arrived one Sunday morning and found him in bed with someone else.

I was 18, with a baby son and I couldn’t cope with that.

I never spoke to him again. I just felt that was it — but later I was shocked to discover I was pregnant.

My mum said, ‘Who is going to look after you with two children? If you have this baby you’ll have to have him adopted because we can’t afford it. You can’t bring him up’.


Long lost ... Simon, Fabia and Richard

I called him Mark. He was with me for six months and was lovely. But my mum warned me that when Mark went, everything must go with him.

I had nothing left to remember my baby by. Nothing at all. It still makes me cry to talk about it.

I just sat on the doorstep for hours and hours.

My mum said you mustn’t talk about Mark anymore. She said, ‘He’s gone. He doesn’t exist any more. Just get on with your life.’ She said as long as I didn’t talk about him I could think of him as much as I wanted. I always knew he was out there.

A year later I got married.

When I told my husband Peter all about Mark he said, ‘We’re going to go and get him. We’re going to bring him home.’

We went to the social worker who said I couldn’t do that. Mark had been adopted, was living with a new family and I couldn’t contact him again. It felt like giving him up twice.

I was so scared before I flew over to Edinburgh to meet Mark. I didn’t know what I was going to say.

But as soon as I saw Mark I knew he was a part of me.

When he was in my arms I knew that he belonged there. We have so much to catch up on... and it’s happiness from now on.”

Mark and Fabia appear in the series opener of Long Lost Families on ITV on April 12 at 9pm. For advice on tracing birth parents, contact the British Association for Adoption and Fostering on baaf.org.uk or call 020 7421 2600.

By LISA ADAMS

Source: thesun.co.uk